Baby Book
by SexisFan

Chapter 7

Alexis looked down at the stiff square of wallpaper drawn from her box of pregnancy mementos. She'd never been the fru-fru kind of female who cared too much about decorating before. But the little lake house had been her first home all of her own. And then there were those pregnancy hormones encouraging her to do unusual things, like to create a 'nest' for her babe and to save odd little mementos of this part of their journey together.

Fingering the rough paper, Alexis thought back to the night that changed so much.

*****

She had been poring over sample books, looking at wallpaper, fabrics, paint chips. Her little house was pretty much white washed inside. It was clean and crisp, but lacked the homey feel that she had been thinking a child's environment should have. So she was considering the suggestions of an interior designer and trying to make her choices. It wasn't easy.

Alexis sighed and closed the book on her lap. Her head was swimming and her eyes hurt. She set the book on the coffee table, then removed her glasses and set them atop the book. This felt like a good time to call it a night. The sound of the rain falling outside was already threatening to lull her to sleep right there on the sofa. She'd just get a little nightcap of the dreaded milk and she'd hit the sack, Alexis thought as she padded into the kitchen.

She'd filled her glass and was returning the carton of milk to the refrigerator when knocking at her front door startled her. The carton slipped from her fingers and crashed to the floor, splitting open and spilling its contents. As the white pool grew in size, the knocking at the door continued unabated.

Deciding to ignore the spilt milk for the time being, Alexis hurried to answer the door.

Hand on the knob, Alexis opened the door to find Sonny standing on the porch, drenched. She smiled and opened her mouth to greet him, but he spoke before she could.

"What's wrong with me, Alexis?"

He first instinct was to tease him. You want a list now? was the first retort that sprang to mind. But the pain in his eyes and the look of brokenness on his face silenced her wit and caused her smile to fade.

"Sonny, come in."

He obeyed, stepping through the doorway. Alexis shut the door and turned to him, only to find him rooted in the entry, standing ominously still as rain dripped from his trench coat onto Alexis' wood floor.

"Let me have your coat, Sonny," Alexis instructed as she reached up to assist in slipping the wet garment from his shoulders. Sonny moved slowly, helping her by shrugging the coat off into her grasp. But his movements were stiff and robotic, as if his body was working on remote control.

Alexis ducked inside the half-bath downstairs and draped the coat across the towel bar, moving the little rubber backed throw rug underneath the towel bar to catch the water that would drip from the coat and otherwise puddle the floor.

Back in the living room, Alexis found Sonny pacing the floor in front of her sofa, his earlier catatonia replaced now by agitation. Alexis stepped forward and placed her hands on the back of the sofa. "Sonny," she said his name gently but firmly. "What's happened?"

Sonny stopped short and turned to face her over the sofa. His dark eyes were hard and piercing. In a gesture of anger and frustration, he ran his hand through the damp mop of curls covering his head.

"I stood at her casket, Alexis. I thought she was dead."

So this was about Carly. Hardly a surprise.

"I know, Sonny. I was there."

Sonny shook his head. "You can't know Alexis. No one can. When I heard that her car had gone into the lake, it was like Lily and Brenda all over again. One more woman I'd brought into my life, promised to protect, and she was dead because of me."

"Sonny. . ."

He started to pace again. "I know, Alexis. You're going to say that it wasn't our fault, wasn't my fault. And other people would be able to think like that. But not me. I take on the guilt, Alexis," he spun and pointed at her, jabbing his finger into the space between them, "you know that about me."

"Yes, Sonny, I know. . ."

"And so does she!" He resumed his pacing, striding back and forth across the room with the angry energy of a caged animal. "She counted on my sense of responsibility and my guilt. It was all part of the plan."

"Plan?"

Sonny spun again. "I stood at her casket, Alexis. I had my guts ripped out thinking that she was dead and that Michael was without his mother because of me. I prayed. God, I prayed so hard. From the time I knew it was her car in the lake until I stood in the church over that casket, I prayed. And you know what I prayed for, Alexis?"

Alexis shook her head slowly.

"I prayed for a miracle. I promised I'd do whatever I could to make things right if only she'd come be found. If only Michael could have his mother. If only I could wake up in the morning and not have her blood on my hands for the rest of my life!"

Alexis watched as Sonny extended his hands, palms up, and stared at them for a long, silent minute. Suddenly one hand curled into a fist and in a flash Sonny slammed that fist into the still opened palm, screaming out in anger as he did so. Alexis jumped, her heart leaping into her throat.

"How could I be so stupid!"

"Sonny, what has happened?" Alexis asked again.

Sonny walked to the window and pushed back the curtain, staring out into the storm-darkened night. "I was played, Alexis. The master con was conned."

"Who played you?"

"Carly. I stood at her casket. I promised her before God that I loved her and that I forgave her. I swore that if I could have done something to keep her alive, I'd have done it. And then. . ." Sonny turned and faced Alexis again, tears in his eyes, "she walked into that church. The miracle happened."

"It was a shock for all of us, Sonny."

Sonny gave a bitter chortle. "Not for Carly, Alexis. Not for Carly." Again he began to pace. "She planned the whole thing, you know."

"Planned what?"

Sonny dropped to the sofa, collapsing into the soft cushions. "The accident. The car in the lake. The weeks of torment and guilt. The pure agony that anyone who cared about her went through. It was all her doing."

Alexis rounded the sofa to take a seat at the other end. "Sonny, I don't understand."

Sonny looked into her eyes. "Carly planned the whole thing. She sent her car over that cliff and went merrily on her way. She was never in an accident, Alexis. And she was never in the water. She did it all to get back at me for being with you."

Alexis couldn't believe what she was hearing. How could anyone be so heartless and so cold? How could anyone be so selfish. It seemed impossible, even for Carly.

"And you know what makes it worse, Alexis?"

Alexis shook her head.

"Jason knew."

Alexis eyes widened in shock. "Jason?"

"I sent him out to investigate what had happened to Carly while she was gone. I was worried that someone might have taken advantage of her." Sonny laughed ruefully. "And the whole time, she was taking advantage of everyone here in town."

"And Jason discovered all of this?"

"Not at first. At first she told him that she'd only stayed gone a few days longer after coming to following the accident. And she convinced him not to tell me so that we'd have a chance to make a reconciliation work - a reconciliation that came about only because of my guilt in the first place!"

Sonny shot up off the sofa and stormed back to the window.

Alexis dropped her gaze to her lap, watching the fidgeting of her own fingers. "He thought he was helping you by keeping the secret, Sonny."

"I trusted him, Alexis! I knew she couldn't be trusted. But Jason was my friend. I trusted him like I trust you."

Alexis felt her heartbeat quicken. "Sometimes people have to make hard choices, Sonny. Sometimes what seems clearly wrong in hindsight wasn't so clear when someone is faced with hurting you with the truth, or seeming to help you with a secret."

Sonny shook his head. "He didn't give me a choice, Alexis. I was living a lie. The whole reconciliation was a lie. I thought I owed it to her, Alexis. I thought I owed it to God after He performed a miracle." Sonny turned his face toward her. "Some miracle, huh?"

"What about the body?"

Sonny shook his head. "I don't think she had anything to do with that. But she took advantage of it. She knew a body had been found and identified, and instead of calling or coming home she decided to wait and make her big entrance at her own funeral."

"She was in shock. . ."

"She was acting. The confusion, the amnesia, the messed up hair, the worn clothes, pretending that she was in shock and thought she was dead. The whole thing was one huge stage show to make people feel sorry for her. She got the spotlight and didn't leave a dry eye in the house," he remarked coldly.

Alexis stood and crossed over to him. Laying a gentle hand on his arm, she spoke softly. "Sonny, we all believed her."

"But I’m the one who took her back into my life." Sonny reached up and slipped two fingers under Alexis' chin, raising her eyes to his, "Even when it meant working to ignore how wrong it was."

The emotion in his voice and the intensity of his gaze forced Alexis to lower her lids. As she did so, she heard his sharp intake of breath. In a flash Sonny turned his body toward hers and wrapped her into an embrace as his lips fell to hers.

The kiss caught Alexis completely off her guard as Sonny's mouth devoured hers with a familiar hunger. She felt the hard wall of his chest pressed against hers, the dampness of his shirt soaking through the silk of her gown. His fingers twined in her hair, cradling her head as he tipped it back to claim her lips. Alexis heard a soft moan and realized that it was hers in the same instant that she became aware of her own fingers buried in the ebony curls that fell over Sonny's collar.

Alexis felt his hands drop to the small of her back, searching out the curve of her hip as he moved to press himself more firmly against her body. Summoning up all of the strength she could muster, Alexis moved her hands from his hair to his chest. The moan that he gave in response nearly weakened her resolve, but still Alexis managed to push herself away from him, loosening his embrace.

"Sonny, no," she breathed raggedly. "I. . .I can't."

Sonny's face fell. The pain she saw on his features was palpable and it tore at her heart. Alexis caught her breath as Sonny leaned his head forward and rest his forehead against her own. "I'm sorry, Alexis." He lifted his head and looked deeply into her eyes. His hand reached up toward her face and traced her swollen lips softly with his thumb. "Forgive me?" he whispered.

Alexis nodded, a sob caught in her throat leaving her mute for the moment.

"Thank you," he breathed.

"Sonny," Alexis croaked, finding her voice. "It's late." And if I have to stand this close to you for ten more seconds I won't be able to trust myself. . .

"Can I stay here?"

Alexis' eyes flew to his in surprise. "I don't know that it would be a good idea. . ."

"I can't risk seeing her tonight. I can't even risk talking to her or hearing her voice, Alexis. I can't trust myself not to kill her with my bare hands tonight."

Alexis took in the pain etched on his face and couldn't refuse him. "The guest room is upstairs at the end of the hall, last door on the left. There's a bathroom right next door."

Sonny offered a pained smile. "Thank you."

Alexis nodded. "I. . .I'll be up in a while. I. . .I've got something to take care of down here before I go to sleep." Alexis' mind wandered back to the puddle of milk in the kitchen. Drawing away from Sonny, Alexis smiled softly. "Goodnight."

Sonny nodded. Alexis turned toward the kitchen. She could feel his eyes on her back as she walked away and disappeared through the doorway. A few seconds later, she was at work mopping up the spilt milk from the floor in front of the refrigerator. As she worked, she heard Sonny's soft tread on the stairs as he made his way to the guest room. Alexis dawdled at her task, hoping that he'd be in bed by the time she got upstairs. She'd come way too close to giving into her physical desire for him. And that would be a mistake. It would only complicate an already complicated situation. Instead of thinking about what his arm and his lips felt like, she needed to be concentrating on how she would tell Sonny about this baby - especially now that he was stinging from the perceived betrayal of Jason keeping Carly's secret from him.

Alexis shook her head. Just when she thought things were right for telling Sonny the secret she'd been keeping from him, Carly has to come along and screw things up as usual.

Alexis finally finished cleaning up the mess in the kitchen and deposited the soiled kitchen towels in the laundry before making her way upstairs. Sonny should be safely tucked away by now, she thought.

As she reached the top of the stairs, however, her heart skipped a beat. The faintest hint of soft light was spilling out into the hallway from an open door. Damn it! Last door on the left, she'd said.

Alexis took in a deep breath and turned the corner into the room.

There was Sonny, still wet from a shower, his towel around his waist. He stood by the card table in the center of the room, illuminated only by the night light that Alexis had placed in there for those nights when she sat in here and thought about her future.

Sonny was looking down at the samples of paint and wallpaper scattered across the top of the card table. The fingers of his right hand skimmed the surface of a piece sporting a rocking horse design in pastel shades. His left hand gripped the writing tablet she'd left sitting on the seat of the white rocker where she'd sit during her thoughtful evenings here in what would one day be their baby's nursery.

Dear Sonny - I've tried so hard to find the best way to tell you this. I'm still not sure if this is it. . .

Sonny's head came up as she entered the room. His eyes sought hers immediately. Sonny dropped the writing tablet on the card table and crossed over to stand in front of her.

Alexis couldn't read his expression clearly in the dim light. Was he angry? Disappointed? She didn't know which would be worse.

Sonny stopped half an arm's length away from her. He lifted his hand to cup her face.

"Alexis?" They both knew the question he was asking.

Alexis nodded, unable to breathe or speak.

Sonny's hand left her face as his fingers trailed a path down her neck, down the center of her chest, across her belly. . .until his hand came to rest on the small bulge hidden under the silk of her nightgown.

Alexis watched with relief as tears welled in his eyes.

With the one hand still on her rounded belly, Sonny reached up to draw her head closer with the other. Leaning down to meet her lips with his, he kissed her for the second time that evening.

But this kiss was completely different. In place of hunger and need, there was only gentle tenderness and joy. Alexis returned this kiss tentatively, sharing her happiness with him as he shared his with her.

She was a little surprised when he broke the kiss, though. She looked up him puzzled as he grasped her gently by the shoulder and turned her away from him, his hand never leaving where it rested on her belly.

Standing with her back toward him, his arm around her and his hand resting on the tell-tale sign of their child within her, Alexis felt the warmth of his body - flush from his shower - as he pressed himself against her. Slowly, he trailed soft kisses from her ear, along her neck, and across her shoulder - the whole time softly stroking her belly through the thin silk of her gown.

Alexis laid her head back against his shoulder. This was dangerous, and she knew it. She was so close to not being able to stop whatever might happen next. But at that moment, nothing seemed to mean as much as the silent joy with which Sonny had accepted the revelation of her secret.

Without a word, Sonny leaned his weight forward, nudging Alexis toward the doorway of her room across the hall. Alexis offered no resistance.

As Sonny laid her on her bed, her rational mind screamed out that she shouldn't be letting this happen. Complications, Alexis! This will only bring more complications!

Sonny stretched out beside her, his hand slipping beneath her gown to seek out once again the roundness of their child. Alexis returned his kisses whole-heartedly as his fingers skimmed the soft flesh revealed when her gown was lifted over her head.

Complications! the voice rang in her head.

Ever the attorney, Alexis countered the warning call with her own brand of logic. She was already pregnant with Sonny Corinthos' child. There was no escaping complications to her life now, Alexis reasoned as she slipped the towel from around Sonny's waist.

***** Alexis smiled as she slipped the scrap of wallpaper back into the box. She hadn't thought there be a better night than when their child had been conceived, but she'd been wrong. The night that Sonny learned of their baby, he'd made love to her with such tenderness the beauty of it almost hurt her heart. He'd treated her as if she was the most precious thing ever to exist, as if she were someone to worship. It had been wonderful and intoxicating. And afterward, he'd wrapped her tightly in his arms and held her closer than close while they slept to the gentle patter of the rain outside. Alexis had never before felt so safe in all her life.

Of course, one night didn't change everything between then. Sonny still had to deal with Carly. And Alexis stubbornly held onto to her life out on the lake in spite of Sonny's insistence that she move back into the penthouse across the hall from him. Things got pretty heated from time to time as their wills clashed over how to work out their unique relationship. There were times when Alexis thought she might just empty her bank account and run away, she got so fed up with his demands and his attempts to control her life.

And then there were other days.

Alexis reached into the box and pulled out a thin white envelope. Lifting the flap, she removed the contents and smiled warmly. Yes. Some days she thought they'd kill each other. And then there were days like this one. . .

chapter 08