Baby Book
by SexisFan

Chapter 5

It was a simple plastic container, the kind used to store leftovers in the refrigerator. But for Alexis, it held something much more dear. In this little plastic box was a reminder of that day when a little bit larger box arrived at her door. A box that signaled a change in the stalemate going on between Alexis and Sonny.

Alexis had wakened early that day, as was her habit. Eight weeks into her pregnancy, she still awoke each day to a queasy reminder that she was carrying another life. The nausea was not as intense as it had been even a few weeks ago, but still it lingered. Each morning Alexis arose gingerly and made her way downstairs. A few minutes in the cool, clean early morning air seemed to help clear her head and settle her stomach.

On this particular morning, when Alexis opened her front door, there was something more than her usual paper on the porch. A box. A small, white box. From the size and shape she knew immediately what it was, and who had sent it.

Alexis bent and picked up the box. She didn't know whether to smile, or to spit. Lifting the lid, Alexis knew her suspicion would be confirmed.

Gardenias.

Alexis sighed. The man was. . .everything. Insufferable. Endearing. Nervy. Sweet. Dense. Thoughtful. Thoughtless. And sorry. At least that's what the tiny card read. In Sonny's own script. I'm sorry.

She didn't know whether to be touched, or ticked off. Gardenias. Reminders of Puerto Rico and Valentine's Day. Did he have any idea what gardenias meant to her now? Or did he simply associate the flowers with her without thought? Was he thinking also about those tropical nights? Not likely. Not while he's with Carly.

Alexis finally decided that the choice of gardenias was simply the act of a man unaware of the depth of her feelings for him. It was simply a choice that required no thought on his part.

At the same time, his apology was quite thoughtful and far from meaningless. He didn't want this tension between them any more than she did. Somehow they would have to find a way to maintain their relationship - for their child and in spite of his wife.

It had been over a week since Alexis moved into her new home - the same day Sonny had stormed out of that home in anger. In those days following the move, Alexis had slowly but surely put her home in order. Jason had come around every day to check on her, and to offer his assistance. After replacing the leaky showerhead in the master bathroom, he'd worked under Alexis' direction to move boxes to the appropriate rooms and to rearrange furniture. He'd helped her unpack and set up her new household. He'd put new locks on all the doors, and even sent a security company out to install a security system in the house.

Had he and Sonny been on better terms, Alexis might have thought Jason's concern about her safety was the result of Sonny's interference. But Jason never mentioned Sonny, and Alexis didn't ask. Instead they worked together comfortably, never mentioning the man who connected them. The discussed Jason's travels and compared them with Alexis' own experiences. They discussed things mundane, and a few profound. Jason kept tabs on Alexis' symptoms of pregnancy, and talked with her about what it was like for him taking care of Michael by himself for the first few months of the child's life.

Jason was so open in discussing how he'd learned to father Michael that Alexis found herself feeling increasingly reassured about her ability to care for her own child by herself. She could do this. And even if no other person on the planet supported her, she knew that Jason would help her any way that he could. It was somewhat surreal at times to realize that her childcare confidant was a mobster, a man thought cold and heartless by those who knew only the effects of his brain damage and his association with Sonny. And yet this was the man talking to her in all seriousness about diapers, colic and burping techniques. Alexis couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity sometimes.

Absurd as it was, though, those talks and Jason's calming presence had been a sanity-saver as Alexis settled into her new home and started to think ahead to the arrival of her child. A rhythm quickly developed to her life on the lake, and it was a beat that Alexis enjoyed.

Sonny's flowers put a momentary hitch in that rhythm as Alexis carried them into the house, pondering his intention in apologizing via flowers.

Alexis was arranging the blossoms in a bowl of water when Jason arrived like clockwork, carrying in a small, white bag a key lime tart from Alexis' favorite bakery. It was a craving she felt compelled to fulfill, but would have denied herself had Jason not volunteered to bring her a single tart each day. With the way her appetite was starting to pick up, Alexis didn't trust herself to visit the bakery on her own.

"Those are pretty," Jason commented simply, noting the flowers in Alexis' care.

"Sonny sent them. An apology for when he was here."

Jason said nothing.

"Doesn't it seem a little inappropriate for a married man to be sending flowers to a woman other than his wife?"

"Sonny isn't married," Jason replied.

"Not officially married, perhaps. But you know what I mean. Carly would be furious if she knew."

"You think about Carly too much." Jason moved into the kitchen to get a plate for Alexis' tart, and returned with her treat and a cold glass of milk.

Alexis smiled. Somehow his hovering seemed too sweet to be irritating.

"I can't help but think about Carly, Jason. For all intents and purposes she will be my child's step-mother. Now that's a scary thought." Images of Helena flashed in Alexis' mind, images Sonny would understand.

"You don't that Alexis."

"It seems pretty obvious to me and everyone else, Jason. Sonny and Carly have some sort of weird bond that neither wants to break, no matter how much they end up hurting each other."

Jason's gaze dropped to the floor and Alexis realized she'd probably said too much.

"I'm sorry Jason. I know that they are both important to you. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, Alexis. You're right. Sonny and Carly aren't any good for each other. And one day Sonny will see that. Maybe he has already."

"What makes you think that?"

Jason just shrugged. "He sent you flowers."

Alexis laughed. "He was just buttering up his attorney, Jason."

"Maybe. Maybe not. He was pretty upset about you moving out."

"Sonny likes to be in control. That's all."

"If you say so." Jason shrugged again. Reaching toward the bowl he traced a fingertip along the edge of one creamy white blossom. "Flowers have meanings."

"These don't mean anything, Jason."

"I mean, every flower means something different. Like red roses mean passionate love and white roses mean pure love."

Alexis grinned and gave a slight shake of her head. Jason could change directions in a conversation faster than anyone she knew. "How do you learn these things?"

"Moving around. Asking questions. Listening."

"What do gardenias mean?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Maybe not," Alexis laughed. "Is it bad?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"On what you want with Sonny?"

"Now I'm confused. What does Sonny have to do with the meaning of gardenias?"

"I love you deeply, but in secret."

"Excuse me?"

"That's what gardenias mean." With that, he lifted a single blossom from the bowl and tucked it into her hair, then turned and walked silently from the house.

Alexis stood speechless. Certainly Sonny had no such thoughts in his head when sent her those flowers. It was ridiculous. It was pure coincidence that gardenias had been growing by her patio in Puerto Rico and that Sonny had come to associate that bloom with Alexis.

Wasn't it?

***** Alexis had been a little stunned and more than a little frustrated that Jason would plant such ideas in her head about Sonny and what he might feel for her. What she needed was a way to tell him about the baby, not some pipe dream about some love that wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of working out even if it existed.

Alexis had tried to push those ideas from her mind, and had done a fairly decent job of it for another week or so. Until. . .Alexis replaced the lid on the container holding a single dried gardenia blossom. Returning it to the box, she then removed the next memento. Turning it over in her hand she shook her head and smiled broadly. Who would ever have thought an ugly old bent metal potato peeler would mean so much?

Chapter 06