Baby Book
by SexisFan

Chapter 2

Alexis lifted the faded, twisted scrap of fabric to her face and inhaled deeply. A warm smile blossomed as the pungent aroma of grease filled her nostrils as fully as welcomed as the scent of any French perfume. This was the scent of kindness. It was the scent of friendship. It was the scent that would always remind her of Jason.

It had been just over a week since her confrontation with the little white stick streaked with little blue lines. Ever the attorney, Alexis had zeroed in on the possibility of that half percent error rate. That day she had gone to the doctor to have the results confirmed through a blood test and physical exam.

It was unanimous. Alexis was undoubtedly pregnant with Sonny's child. There was no avoiding it. Now she had to decide what her next step would be.

A long walk in the afternoon had turned into an evening on the docks, contemplating her predicament. She didn't know how long she'd sat on that bench, looking out at the harbor lights rippling across the dark surface of the water. There was a soft breeze off of the water, and the rhythmic lapping of the current against the wooden pilings of the pier. The sounds of the city seemed muted in the background, allowing Alexis to lose herself in the peace of the lake at night.

God, there were so many reasons why she shouldn't have this baby. It's not like she'd ever been particularly maternal, or particularly good with kids. Motherhood hadn't been something she'd dreamed about or for which she'd longed as some women do. To be honest, she'd never given it much thought before. Then there was the father issue. If this child were to be hers and hers alone, maybe the decision would be easier. Maybe it wouldn't be as frightening to think of being a mother. It would be a bit easier, certainly, if Sonny weren't the child's father. How could she do this to him? He was happy with Carly. He had his family back. Michael had a father, and Carly would surely give Sonny children of his own - children that would make him happy, children that he could celebrate. There didn't seem to be any way he could celebrate this child. If Alexis had been someone who wanted a baby more than anything else, it would be so easy to pack up and leave Port Charles, to have her baby someplace where Sonny would never know about it. After all, there really wasn't much reason for her to stay in this town. But that was a risk, giving up the only life she'd known for years, and for a life of motherhood she'd never considered seriously and didn't know that she'd like.

Alexis was lost in the complications and possibilities swirling in her head, so much so that she'd barely heard his soft tread across the weathered boards. She was present enough to realize with relief that it wasn't Sonny's step behind her. She didn't know it was Jason, though, until he spoke.

"It's nice out here at night," he'd said simply.

"Yes. It is."

A few steps and he'd rounded the opposite end of the bench. "Quite. Helps me think."

"Me, too," she answered.

Jason sat, his attention still turned to the harbor. "I can leave, if you want."

Alexis sighed. "You're fine."

"Are you?"

"What?"

"Fine? You seem different lately."

Alexis couldn't suppress a slightly sarcastic laugh. "Yeah, I'm different lately."

"You don't have to talk about it. Unless you want to."

"I wish I could talk about it. Tonight is one of those nights when I miss Chloe more than ever. I know that seems selfish of me, missing her because I need a friend right now."

"I'm your friend, Alexis."

Alexis gave him a sideward glance, relieved that he wasn't facing her but was still turned toward the water.

"I know. But this is - delicate."

Jason nodded. "You changed while I was gone."

"Yeah, I became Carly." The words just slipped from her brain to her lips before she could stop them, and she was instantly sorry.

Jason turned to face her. "You could never be Carly."

Alexis looked him square in the eye. "Coming from you, I'm not sure what to make of that."

Jason's gaze was steady as it met her own. "I'm Carly's friend. Sometimes maybe because I might end up being the only friend she has one day. But I don't fool myself about who she is and what she's capable of doing."

Alexis nodded.

"But you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Alexis sighed again. "I wish I could. I need to talk to someone. But I can't, not to you."

"It's about Sonny."

"I don't want to put you in the middle."

Jason smiled. "See? I told you that you weren't like Carly."

Alexis returned his smile. It was the first time she'd smiled in days. The realization brought tears to her eyes. Damned hormones.

"I have to make a decision, Jason. And I can't figure out the right thing to do."

"What does your heart say?"

"My heart has lost its mind."

Her comment brought a soft laugh from Jason. And his laugh triggered more tears for Alexis, though she couldn't have explained why.

"I'm a logical person, Jason. I live my life by what makes sense. I. . .I did something that made no sense. And now, I have to decide what to do about the consequences. My head tells me the logical thing to do."

"But you heart. . ."

"My heart is afraid to listen to my head. My heart is afraid that I'll regret my logic, and I'll be stuck with a choice that can't be undone." Alexis swiped with the back of her hand at the tears streaming down her cheeks.

Alexis tried to focus on the harbor, though she nothing but a blur through her tears. She was aware of Jason shifting silently on the bench beside her. A second later, he'd slipped closer to her side, startling her into turning to face him again.

"It's not a fancy handkerchief. . ."

Alexis looked down at his outstretched hand. He was offering her a bandana. Worn, twisted, and bearing more than a little motorcycle grease. The simple kindness of the gesture touched her, bringing a smile to her lips as she took the rag from his hand.

"There's probably a clean corner on there somewhere," he assured her.

Alexis sniffed as she wiped at her eyes. For several minutes she and Jason sat silently, looking out at the lights dancing along the water. Each time tears welled and threatened to spill, Alexis wiped them away with the pungently scented scrap of bandana.

Finally, her composure returning, Alexis turned to him. "Thank you, Jason."

Jason stared at her, his face serious. "Alexis, I have to tell you something."

"I know, follow my heart."

"No, that's not it."

"Follow my head?"

"Noooo. . ."

"Something about Sonny? Because I just can't talk about Sonny. . ."

"No. It's about you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. I don't know how to tell you this, Alexis, but. . ."

"What?"

"You look like a raccoon."

"What?"

"A raccoon. Your eyes. You have grease all around them." Jason smiled softly at her.

"Great! It's not enough that I'm sitting here worried about. . .damn." She censored her thought before spilling her secret and busied herself searching in the dark for a clean corner of cloth, scrubbing at her face with the cleanest patch that she could find.

"Let me help." Jason slide a little closer, lifting his hands to cradle her face. "You're just making it worse."

Alexis was surprised at the gentleness of his touch as he swiped his thumbs across her cheeks and lower lids, removing the smudges from her face. His blue eyes were intent as he worked, seemingly oblivious to her inspection of his features. Jason was always a puzzle. So cold. And yet there were his moments of warmth which meant that much more because they were so different from his normal demeanor.

Jason finished his task and peered into her eyes. There was a small smile in their blue depths, a smile that disappeared in an instant when something behind them caught his attention. In an instant, Alexis knew what it was - who it was watching them, probably from the shadows.

Jason turned his attention back to Alexis, his hands still cupping her upturned face. "Listen to your heart, Alexis," he whispered.

What he did next took her totally by surprise as he leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. But the greater surprise came when he lowered his lips to her ear and whispered his parting words.

"We'll talk about the baby later."

***** Tears threatened again as Alexis recalled the night that Jason nudged her toward the whisperings of her heart - the same night his friendship became an anchor in her life.

With a sigh, she placed the bandana back into the box. Page two was decided. And page three would have to be. . .Damn. How would she mount a shaker of salt in a baby book?

Chapter 03