They
stayed up half the night playing for matchsticks. They played every
card game they could think of: gin rummy, go fish, hearts, and about
twenty different kinds of poker. Sonny taught Alexis "Texas
Hold 'Em,""Lowball," and "Omaha Hi-Lo,"
and Alexis surprised Sonny by teaching *him* a few unofficial variations
of the game.
"Hold the cards behind my back?? Where'd you learn how to play
this way?" Sonny asked at the beginning of yet another version
of "Alexis Poker."
"What do you think teenage girls do at a boarding school where
there are no boys?" Alexis asked, dealing. "Usually, these
games involved a lot of drinking, but..."
"I think I saw some jugs of moonshine in the cupboard,"
Sonny offered. He managed to keep a straight face while Alexis looked
up in horror, but after a moment he broke into a small laugh. He
was amazed to hear Alexis laugh softly with him. Of course, it only
lasted a few seconds.
That wasn't to say the rest of the evening wasn't amusing. Sonny
remembered that he and Alexis had always been able to entertain
each other mightily when they had a few minutes alone, and this
night was no different. Since they had come to some sort of silent
agreement that they wouldn't talk about anything that mattered,
all they talked about was how much the other person was cheating
and how half the other person's pile of matchsticks -- at least
half -- constituted illegally gotten gains. They made cracks and
accusations and half-hearted attempts to steal each other's winnings.
They deadpanned it the whole night, never letting out so much as
a giggle except for the one time. There were quite a few smiles,
though. Quite a few more than Sonny could recall giving in a long
time.
****
"Juice."
Sonny was fast asleep in blessed oblivion, but something -- not
quite a dream, just a sound -- was interrupting him. He and Alexis
had stopped their all-night card game just a couple of hours before,
Alexis retreating into the safety of her bedroom and Sonny sprawling
out on the couch.
"Juice." There was that voice again.
With a great deal of effort, Sonny willed his eyes to blink open.
He turned his head to the side. There, a large pair of brown eyes
in a small head were blinking back at him. Kristina. *So beautiful,*
Sonny thought to himself.
"Juice," Kristina said again, a little more insistently.
Obviously, the Big Man didn't know what it was, or she wouldn't
have to keep saying it.
"Oh! You want juice?" Sonny finally realized she expected
him to help her. Alexis must have been too fast asleep for Kristina
to get her up, so the enterprising little girl had turned to the
other grown-up in the immediate vicinity, to see if he would be
of any use. "Okay. I'm up," Sonny said, slightly ashamed
to hear the creaking in his bones when he stood. He let out a big
yawn and said, "Let's go find you some breakfast, Princess."
****
An hour later, after Sonny had managed to rummage through the supplies
Alexis had stowed in the small refrigerator, cooked up some eggs
and toast to go with the juice, and served it up to Kristina, he
wondered what he should do with the little girl now. He looked at
her noisily sipping the last of her juice and wondered at the warmth
in his heart caused by the mere sight of her. She was unbelievably
gorgeous to him. Her brown hair, darker than Alexis' and much curlier,
bounced around her little head, and when she smiled, she showed
dimples so pretty they would compel a King to do her bidding. That's
how Sonny felt with her, after only an hour alone with her. He was
the grown man, but she was somehow in charge.
"Play?" Kristina asked hopefully when the juice was no
more. She banged on the table a couple of times, as if to demonstrate
the motions of "play."
"Um, sure. Yeah, let's play," Sonny answered, eating up
the last of his toast. Play what? he asked himself. Alexis
had brought a few toys, but he was more of a playground-type playmate.
No playgrounds here on this farm, but maybe...
"Hey, let's play outside! We can make snowballs. Whaddya say,
Princess?"
"Sno-bahs! Sno-bahs!" the little girl giggled happily.
****
Alexis woke up reluctantly, leaning over to turn off that noisy
alarm clock. Only there was no alarm clock. And that noise she heard
was no alarm. It was her daughter. Laughing so hard she was almost
screaming. Where was she?
Alexis knelt in the bed and peeked out of the window. There, in
the snow, was an amazing sight. Her daughter playing with Sonny
Corinthos in the snow. He was packing up tiny snowballs and pressing
them into Kristina's mittened hands, and she was tossing them as
far as she could -- no more than two or three feet away. Kristina
looked as happy as Alexis had ever seen her. Her laughter tinkled
like silver bells in the cold morning air. It was the only sound
around, except for Sonny's laughter. Alexis wondered at the joy
in his eyes as he played with Kristina. To think I've been -protecting-
her from this, Alexis thought. She'd always believed she was
saving Kristina from danger by keeping her away from Sonny's life.
She didn't foresee that it would be her own horrible past that would
threaten Kristina's life.
When a man in a beige courdoroy coat approached the pair, Alexis'
heart jumped into her throat. Sonny immediately picked up Kristina
and reached around to the waistband at the back of his jeans, where
Alexis knew he kept his gun. But even from a distance, it was clear
the man was 70 years old or more.
"Mornin'!" the old man said, raising a friendly hand,
as he approached. "I'm Joe Woodson. This is my farm."
"Mornin'," Sonny answered civilly, keeping Kristina close
to his chest.
"We heard you drive your family in last night, but it was so
late I decided I'd just wait to say hello." When the farmer
was within reach, he held out his hand. Sonny shook it. "What
did you say your names were?"
"I'm Michael. My wife Natasha is still asleep."
"And who's this pretty little thing?"
Sonny looked at Kristina and wondered if she could remember to answer
to a different name. He decided against it. She shouldn't have to
learn to lie so young. Or ever. "We just call her Princess."
"Nice to meet you Princess," Woodson said, and laughed
heartily when Kristina extended her little gloved hand and said,
"Hello," very seriously and regally. "I can see where
she gets her name. You have everything you need? Would you like
to come to the big house for some coffee?"
"As soon as Natasha's up, I think she'd appreciate that, thanks,"
Sonny said. "But what we really need is a phone. We're looking
for work in this area, and we're going to need to make some calls.
We'll pay you back for the charges."
"If you pay for any long-distance time, then you're welcome
to the phone anytime," Woodson said. "We don't use the
thing much. Oh, and until you find something permanent, I could
use a hand around here, if you're free. Nothing too strenuous, just
throwing out the dead wood and gathering up some logs for the fire.
I'm gettin' too old for some chores."
"I'll be glad to help out," Sonny said, and Woodson took
his leave. Kristina scampered out of Sonny's arms to the ground.
In a flash, she'd gathered up her own snowball.
"Now you!" she shouted as a brief warning, and threw with
all her might at Sonny's chest. The little snowball hit him squarely
in the chest. Alexis couldn't help herself. She roared with laughter.
Sonny heard the sound coming from the window, and heard Kristina
cackle with glee, and let himself join in.
****
In the days that followed, Sonny and Alexis set up their own little
routine. In the mornings, after they had breakfast and Alexis got
Kristina ready, they'd march over to the Woodson's house for coffee
and conversation. Alexis would check the phone numbers that Luke
had given her, collecting any messages, while Sonny helped Farmer
Woodson with some of his heavier winter chores. They usually had
lunch with the farmer and his wife, then let Kristina play with
their sheepdog. Alexis would check her messages one more time, then
they'd all go back to their little shack. While Kristina took her
afternoon nap, Sonny and Alexis would discuss Alexis' options for
evading Helena. In the early evenings, they'd drive out to the store
for food, and then Sonny would cook up a big dinner while Alexis
entertained Kristina. After Kristina was asleep for good, Sonny
and Alexis would stay up late, sitting on the couch facing each
other, a pack of cards splayed out between them, the games going
on and on until dawn.
On the fifth night, in the middle of a hand of five card stud, Alexis
said, "If Jax is right, and Helena's discovered all his decoys,
she's about to double her efforts to find me."
Sonny looked up from his cards. "She won't find you here."
"You don't know that."
"Even if she comes for you, she won't get you. I won't let
her."
At that, Alexis sighed and put down her cards. "Sonny, why
did you really come? It's very noble of you, but it's inexplicable.
It's ten days before Christmas, and you've left your family behind
to sit around on a farm, in a shack, with your worst enemy and her
daughter."
Sonny stared into her hazel eyes, made almost golden by the roaring
orange fire. He started to speak, then stopped himself, realizing
he was about to tell her the truth. Alexis had a way about her that
compelled people to tell the truth; maybe that was part of what
made her such a good lawyer. *Well, damn it, maybe it's time for
the truth,* Sonny thought. So he took a breath and said it. "First
of all, you're not my worst enemy. And, as for why I came...I think
I just needed to get away from home for a while."
Alexis nodded. "Carly?" she asked, lowering her eyes once
again.
"Carly and I haven't had a...a real relationship for a long
time now. When Brenda came to town, and that Ric person, and with
the trial, and the club opening....the fights just kept getting
worse, and finally we decided, for Michael's sake, we should just
stop fighting. So, we stopped talking to each other." Sonny
lowered his gaze the moment that Alexis raised hers.
"I know you had an affair with Brenda." When Sonny was
silent, Alexis continued. "It must have been hard for you to
lose her to Jason, of all people."
"Not as hard as it was for Jax, I'll bet." Sonny couldn't
bite back the dig at his old nemesis.
"Yeah, well..." Alexis trailed off. She wouldn't fill
Sonny on the hell that Jax had gone through at Brenda's betrayals,
first with Sonny and then with Jason. Alexis knew that Brenda had
tried to break it off with Jax several times, but Jax wouldn't let
the dream of her go, and finally he had to face the fact that she
had gone beyond his reach. Jax probably wouldn't recover from his
disillusionment for years. "That must have been hard for Carly,
too," Alexis said quietly.
"By the time the thing happened with Brenda, Carly was already
cheating on me," Sonny said. Alexis gasped briefly with surprise.
Sonny met her eyes. "Ric."
"Ah. I see." Uncomfortable with the silence that sprang
up between them, Alexis turned her hand face-up. "Three of
a kind," she said.
"Is Ned still in love with you?" Sonny asked abruptly.
"I hope not. I'm horrible for him."
"You're not horrible."
"I didn't say I was horrible, I said I'm horrible for *Ned*,"
Alexis said. She gestured to his cards. "What have you got?"
Sonny flipped them over. "Royal Flush," he said.
"Cheater!" Alexis reached over to inspect his sleeves
for hidden cards, but Sonny grabbed her wrists and gently eased
her hands into his.
He held Alexis' hands lightly, gently, and looked into her eyes.
"I was horrible to Brenda. I was the worst thing for her. I
think I ruined her life. I broke her heart so many times...."
He looked away. It was so hard for him to say these things, to anyone,
including and especially himself, but somehow he felt as if he needed
to say them to Alexis. As if these things he felt would make sense,
then, if he told Alexis about them tonight. "She was so young
when I met her. I think I wanted her to give me my childhood back.
She was alive and fun and so open. I wanted to be that way, too.
But instead, I just made her closed and scared. Guarded. Like me.
I always thought I loved her, but I was just using her to give me
hope. And I took her hope away, by treating her like that."
Alexis was so nervous she felt her palms break out into a sweat.
She didn't want Sonny to be holding her hands like he was. But she
sensed that he needed to hold on to something -- to her -- in order
to talk about these things, and she of all people knew how much
it cost Sonny to talk about these things.
Sonny blinked tears away before he continued. "And Carly...Carly
was the kind of person I thought I deserved. She was so tough and
crazy, I thought I could never break her. I knew she had problems,
I knew how insecure she was, but I thought, she'll never crack under
my pressure. Then, when she faked that car accident --" Alexis
tensed up immediately. Of course, the car accident right after Carly
had caught Alexis and Sonny making love. "--I thought she was
dead," Sonny said, "and I thought, 'That's it. I've done
it. I broke her. I thought I could never destroy her, and I did."
"And when she came back, you were so grateful that she hadn't
died, and you went back to her," Alexis said in a rush. "Yes,
I remember. And," she added, looking at Sonny intently, so
he would know she was telling the truth, "I understood. I really
did. If you're afraid that I was...offended, or..."
"Offended?" Sonny cast his eyes down again and laughed
miserably. "Don't gloss it over. I was an ass to you."
He met her stare again. "But I want you know," he said,
tightening his hands around hers, "that when I walked away
from you, I knew what I was giving up. I knew what you should've
been to me, even then."
"Should've been?" Alexis frowned. "What...what do
you mean?"
"Brenda was the woman I thought I wanted, and Carly was the
woman I thought I deserved, but you were the woman I *would* have
been with, if I had been a better man. If I had lived a better life,
right from the start, if I'd never gotten mixed up in...the things
I did, then I would have run into you somewhere..."
"The ballet, maybe," Alexis said on a smile, meaning it
to be a joke, but Sonny picked up on it right away.
"That's right. That day I took my mother to the ballet, you
would have been there," Sonny said seriously. "I would
have seen you, and I would have made you see me. I would have taken
the bus up here, to New Hampshire, and I would have thrown stones
at your dorm window until you came down."
"How old would we have been then?" Alexis asked. "Sixteen?
Seventeen? What would we have had in common?"
"Nothing. But what did we ever have in common? At seventeen,
I would have just been fielding offers from Joe Scully, to join
up with his crew..."
"And I would have told you to forget about them. I would have
told you that you didn't need them. I would have said, 'You're gonna
make it on your own just fine, Sonny Corinthos.'" Alexis gripped
his hands tightly as she said that, exactly as she imagined she
would have done if she'd been seventeen and saying it, to her new,
tough Brooklyn friend.
"What were you doing back then?" Sonny asked suddenly,
switching topics.
Alexis shrugged. "I was living in fear of Helena and the rest
of my family. I was dreading living in their shadow for the rest
of my life. As long as I lived on their money and they paid for
my education, I knew I'd never get away."
"And I would have told you to forget them. I would have told
you that we didn't need them. I would have said, "We can make
it just fine on our own, Alexis. I'll put you through school."
Alexis, to her horror, began to cry. "It wouldn't have been
Harvard," she joked.
"Not college, maybe. But by the time you were going to law
school, we would've had enough to put up as collateral for some
loans."
She sniffed, moved to her soul at the words he was saying. "What
would you have been doing, to put me through school?"
Sonny looked at the ceiling, thinking. Then his eyes lit up as it
came to him. "I would have been a chef!" Alexis giggled.
"Well, just a line cook at first, but I would have moved up
pretty quick. You know how determined I can be."
"Yes I do."
"And when you went to Harvard for law school, I would have
opened up a Cuban restaurant, right there in Cambridge."
"Cambridge could have used a good Cuban restaurant." They
smiled at each other. Alexis saw through her tears that Sonny was
crying, too. "Would we have been happy, do you think?"
"Amazingly happy," Sonny answered confidently. "And
we probably would have had Kristina a lot sooner."
Alexis' eyes widened and she yanked her hands away. Before Sonny
could stop her, she had gotten up from the couch and put a good
six feet between them. "What are you...?"
"I know, Alexis," Sonny said. "I know she's my daughter."
