20 Years
by Cowgirl

Alexis stood in the mirror and surveyed her appearance. The years, despite everything, had been kind to her. She tilted her head to one side and let her eyes wander down the image that stared back at her. She looked good. She had maintained her figure and by the grace of God had not developed too many of the telltale signs of aging. She was fifty-five years old, and she thought that if anyone wasn't privy to that pertinent piece of information then they would have guessed her to be at least ten years younger...if not more.

She ran a hand down the front of the sapphire blue satin dress that clung to her curves like a peel to a piece of fruit and sighed. It would do. It would certainly do. She took a few steps back and felt the backs of her legs touch the end of her bed. She sat down, almost mechanically and stared straight ahead. Soon, her eyes closed, almost of their own accord and she thought about the past. When she opened her eyes again, they fell upon a framed picture that stood on top of her dresser. It had been taken in the airport. Its image was of Alexis a bag slung over one shoulder, a three year old Kristina perched on the opposite hip. Kristina's eyes were sparkling as she gazed at the person who held the camera. Alexis remembered that day well. The day she had taken Kristina back to Port Charles for her first weekend alone with her father. Sonny had snapped the picture as they stepped off of the plane and came out of the long tunnel that connected said plane to the gate.

Kristina was twenty now and in less than three hours would graduate from NYU's pre-law program. Alexis had been delighted that her daughter had chosen to follow in her footsteps instead of her father's, but she was dreading going to the graduation. Sonny was flying to New York and they would be forced to sit next to one another at the ceremony.

After Alexis finally came clean about Kristina's true paternity, Sonny and Alexis had little to do with one another. Alexis now lived in New York and Sonny still lived with his sons in Port Charles. It hadn't been long after the birth of his second son, Morgan, however than Carly had taken off for parts unknown claiming that Sonny had gotten what he wanted, a child, and now she wanted what she wanted. And that was a world tour courtesy of her new love interest, a wealthy real estate investor who had bought and sold her club for her.

Alexis had been tempted at first. She had entertained fantasies about her and Sonny finding their way back to one another now that Carly had betrayed him for the final time. She had even had dinner with Sonny and Kristina on several occasions, and each time, had been secretly overwhelmed by the depth of feelings she still had for the man, but in the end decided that she couldn't go down that path again. She had lost too much and she had gained too much back to invite that measure of heartache back into her life.

There had even been two separate occasions where Sonny had dropped Kristina off in New York and had stayed for a visit with her when Kristina had taken off for an evening with her friends. And on two separate occasions, they had ended up in Alexis' bed. Even then the encounters had been meaningful and so much was said with the way they looked at one another, like it was another lifetime ago and neither one of them had ever done anything to hurt one another. The love was still there and they had both seen it on those two occasions when they had chosen to give in, but afterwards Alexis would always close up and act as if nothing happened at all. Sonny, defeated, would shake his head and return to Port Charles. Alexis had known that she only had to say the word and Sonny would have been hers, but she didn't want that.

She had never known why. She had dreamed of him on so many occasions, and she had been thrilled when they had made love again...she did love him...but on some level she wanted him not to be able to have her. She wanted him to feel the utter loneliness and despair she had felt so many years ago when he had chosen another woman over her and turned his back.

He had felt the rejection. He had never voiced it, but the few times she had seen him over the years, she had looked into his eyes and she had known that he was hurting. That he wanted desperately to be back in her life and in her bed...but she would not let that happen. After that, Alexis made a very conscious effort to avoid Sonny and only spoke to him by phone and only when it concerned their daughter. As Kristina grew older and more independant, the need for contact with Sonny grew fleeting. They hadn't seen one another in person for several years.

Alexis stood and turned to see her daughter standing in the doorway. It never ceased to amaze Alexis how strikingly beautiful her daughter had become. She was a blissful combination of the best of her parents on the outside. Sonny's dark skin and eyes mixed with her own chestnut colored hair and grace. On the inside she harbored much of her mother's passion and all of her father's temper. She had her father's smile.

"Hey kiddo." Alexis' eyes welled up with pride.

Kristina rolled her eyes. "Are you going to start crying again?"

Alexis laughed. "I can't help it," she said as she moved forward and hugged her daughter. "I'm just so proud of my little girl."

"We have to get going soon."

Alexis reluctantly released her daughter from her grasp. "Okay." She sniffed back fallen tears. "Just let me go and do a touch up."

"I don't know why you bother." Kristina called as she left the room. "You're just going to cry it all away at the graduation."

"Very funny little one." Alexis called after her.

An hour later Alexis stood in the foyer to the auditorium of the school, Kristina chatting happily with friends and professors alike. Without even thinking about it, Alexis scanned the crowd of proud families for Sonny. She felt a hand on her arm and turned to face her daughter. "Looking for dad?" she asked not so innocently.

Alexis narrowed her eyes. "No, I'm not looking for your father."

"Uh huh," she admonished as her slender right arm raised and pointed toward a set of double doors. "There he is...come on," she said as she pulled Alexis through the crowd. "Dad!" she called and Alexis almost fainted dead away when Sonny turned and leveled that killer smile at his daughter.

"Princess," he said as he moved forward with his arms outstretched. "I'm sorry I'm late, traffic was bad."
Kristina kissed her father on the cheek, still grasping Alexis' hand. "You're not late. I have to go and get my cap and gown on though." She placed Alexis' hand on Sonny's. "You two know each other I assume."

Sonny shook his head and Alexis felt like running from the room as Kristina waved and took off to prepare for the ceremony.

They both watched her leave, if for nothing more then to prolong having to face one another. Finally Sonny cleared his throat bringing Alexis' gaze to his. "Hey," he said with a flick of his head.

Alexis bowed her own head slightly. "Hey yourself," she said quietly.

"It's been a long time," he acknowledged giving her hand, still in his, a gentle squeeze.

Alexis took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "It has."

Sonny took a step back and let his gaze wander over her. He shook his head and chuckled.

"What?" Alexis asked.

"Nothing...you just." He shook his head again. "You just don't age. You look fantastic Alexis."

He said her name. Her heart tripled in rhythm. She hadn't heard him call her name in several years. "Thank you. You look well too."

He nodded halfheartedly. "Should we go inside and take our seats?"

Alexis bit down on the corner of her lip. "Sure."

They sat in comfortable silence through the ceremony both applauding and crying as their daughter received her numerous accolades for her many accomplishments throughout her pre-law schooling. As she crossed the stage to get her diploma Sonny leaned over and whispered in Alexis' ear. "Thank God she's got your brains."

Alexis simply smiled. "Thank God she's got a lot of both of us."

"Amen," Sonny agreed. "But she'll do well because she was raised by her mother." He said as he took hold of her hand and squeezed. "You did good Lex."

After the ceremony Sonny insisted on taking them all out for a lavish dinner. They sat at the Ritz and ate and talked like a happy family. There was no awkwardness, there was no tension...just two parents taking their exceptional college graduate for dinner.

Sonny took a sip of water and looked at his daughter. "So you picked Harvard huh?" he said as he nodded to Alexis. "A chip off the old block."

Kristina nodded and patted her mother's hand. "That's not such a bad thing to be you know."

Sonny was about to embellish when a young man in a suit approached their table. Sonny took note that Kristina immediately began fidgeting.

"Excuse the interruption," the young man said politely.

Kristina smiled. "Dad, this is Chad Willingsly, mom you remember Chad. He graduated today as well."

"Congratulations Chad," Alexis smiled knowing full well that Chad Willingsly was the young man who had escorted Kristina on many occasions.

Sonny sort of glowered at him. "Yeah, congratulations," he said as the young man shook his hand.

Chad nodded to each of them. "Kristina, if I may, I'd like to invite you and your parents to our house. My parents are having a little after dinner graduation party. There'll be a lot of the other graduates there."

Kristina looked to both of her parents with a clear look of don't you dare say yes on her face.

"That's a lovely gesture Chad," Alexis jumped in. "But Kristina's father and I will be otherwise engaged this evening."

She turned to her daughter with a bemused grin. "Kristina, if you'd like to go..."

"You don't mind?" her voice raised and octave.

"No, you go on ahead sweetheart, I have to head back to Port Charles tonight anyway," Sonny said begrudgingly.

Kristina stood. "Great. I'll see you both later."

With a final goodbye and nod of the head Chad Willingsly whisked their daughter away. Sonny narrowed his eyes.

"Who's the white bread...Chad was it?"

Alexis laughed. "Down boy. Kristina's been seeing him."

"And you let her?"

"Sonny, she's twenty years old and plenty old enough to date. Besides, Chad comes from a good family."

"He doesn't look trustworthy," Sonny muttered.

"Oh, this coming from the pillar of truth and justice."

Sonny looked at her. "What do you know about him?"

Alexis rolled her eyes. "His father is a judge and his mother is a district attorney, he's top of his class and is also going to Harvard next semester and your daughter is very smitten with him."

Sonny made a face. "He's too pretty."

Alexis raised her eyebrows. "You mean too good looking with a killer smile and chiseled features...yeah, I hate that in a man."

"There's something smarmy about him."

"There is not...stop being an over protective father. She likes him."

"How long has this been going on?"

"How long have I been aware of it? A couple of months...as for how long she's been seeing him, I haven't a clue."

"She knows all about..."

"Yes Sonny, she knows. We've had the talk."

Sonny nodded. "Good, because there are some guys out there who will leave you..." he stopped.

"Broken?" Alexis said dryly.

Sonny looked up from the table and met her eyes. "Yeah," he said slowly before turning his gaze back down to his cup of cappuccino.

"Sonny, don't worry about your daughter. She's got the instincts of a pit bull. She's smarter than her mother was in the romance depart..." she trailed off as the two of them looked up at one another again.

There was an awkward silence as they both pondered her statement. Finally Sonny looked up and cleared his throat.

"Do you ever wish it could have been different?" he asked timidly.

Alexis' eyes darted around before settling on the napkin that sat on her lap. "All the time," she answered looking up at him.

"Do you regret...our night together?"

Alexis sighed and leaned forward on the table. "I would never regret having Kristina."

"I didn't mean that." He cleared his throat again. "I meant...do you regret it was me...do you wish it was someone else who gave you Kristina."

Alexis opened her mouth but only air rushed out. She focused her gaze at him. "No. I never wished that."

Sonny gave her a small grin. "Not even once?"

She looked back at him in all seriousness. "Not once. I mean that. You've been a good father to her Sonny. A wonderful father and she adores you."

"She adores you too."

"I know."

Sonny pulled his napkin off of his lap and lightly slapped the table. "You wanna get out of here? I mean go for a walk or something...I'm feeling cooped up."

Alexis looked up at him and bit her lip. "Okay," she said finally and stood.

Sonny paid the bill and the exited the restaurant. The night air was slightly cool as they walked side by side down the city's streets. Sonny moved closer and looped his arm in Alexis'. "Would you believe me if I told you something?" he asked casually as they walked.

"Try me," Alexis answered.

"Would you believe me if I told you that I've missed you every day since you moved out of the penthouse next door?"

Alexis chuckled. "No."

"No?"

"No."

"Well I did...I do."

"Could have fooled me."

Sonny stopped and took hold of her upper arms. "I made so many bad choices back then. One of them was letting you out of my life."

"You didn't let me out of your life Sonny, I chose to go."

"Because I hurt you."

"Exactly."

"I wish I hadn't."

"Me too."

"Because then you wouldn't have hurt me and we wouldn't have wasted the last twenty years being mad at each other."

Alexis shook her head. "I haven't been mad at you for twenty years."

"You know what I mean Alexis."

"No Sonny, I don't."

"I mean...I know we've been cordial over the years since you told me Kristina was mine, but..." He stopped and let his hands drop from her arms. "I wanted to be in love with you."

Alexis looked at the ground. "You can't help the way you felt Sonny and you loved your wife."

"I loved you too. You just never gave me a chance to tell you."

"What good would it have done to tell me? So it could hurt even more to watch you play happy house with her?"

"I wanted you Alexis...it was always you."

"Bull."

"That's the truth!" Sonny shouted.

"Why on earth are you bringing this up now?"

"Because I never stopped loving you and I don't want to stop."

Alexis turned away from him slightly. "Because Carly's out of the picture for good. Now its back to good old Alexis?" She turned back. "Sorry Charlie...not good enough."

"Is that why?"

"Is that why what?"

"Is that why after we slept together again that you sent me on my way barely acknowledging that it happened?"

Alexis breathed heavy and tears were forming. "Why do you insist on doing this to me? God, isn't it enough for you to know that you broke my heart twenty years ago and it's never healed?"

"Do we have to do this Lex? Twenty years ago was twenty years ago. We can fight and argue all night but it’s never going to change the things we've said and done to one another. I haven't been married to Carly for almost eighteen years. This has nothing to do with Carly and everything to do with the fact that I loved you and I hated myself everyday that I let you go." He moved to her and she let him pull her against him. "Can't we start over? Can't we let ourselves love one another again and do it right this time?"

They stood in silence as Alexis buried her head in his chest and clung tightly to him. After what seemed an eternity Sonny eased away and held her at arm's length. Slowly he brought his hands up to either side of her face and pulled her to him engaging her in a long passionate kiss. When they came up for air Alexis giggled.

"What's funny?" Sonny asked laughing with her.

"The first time you ever kissed me...it was just like this."

"After the whole AJ thing."

Alexis nodded her head. "You hugged me, grabbed my face and kissed me."

"Yeah." He smiled. "And I've been waiting twenty years to do it again." His eyes turned serious. "I love you Alexis. I always have."

Alexis reached out and grabbed his hand, interlacing their fingers. "I never stopped loving you."

They started to walk. "So what do you say we try this romance thing again?" Sonny asked as they headed to his car.

Alexis leaned her head on his shoulder. "Romance shmomance...just take me to bed Sonny."

He stopped at his car and opened the door. "You wish is my command, my lady."